It began over a year ago, this particular journey with God. Born out of our prayers and petitions every morning. Seeking God's will for our lives and His direction for us in all manner of our life together. You see, we are His first, so why wouldn't we ask Him to show us what He wants for us? Hand-in-hand, sometimes silent, sometimes whispered, often teary-eyed pleas for God to make Himself so obvious to us that there would be no mistake-- that we would know without a shadow of a doubt that we were following Him alone.
As I have mentioned before in this blog, we like to hike. Now by hike, I must be totally honest: we like to walk in the woods. As much as I enjoyed climbing as a child, I do not cherish it now. Mostly because you have to climb back down. We have learned this both the easy and the hard way. Some maps are more honest than others about the difficulty level of the terrain. One man's "Moderate" is another man's "DEATH TRAP!" So this God-journey was the most difficult "hike" either of us has ever been on. We did not choose the terrain nor the difficulty level. God did.
So we prayed. And we prayed. And we PRAYED.
I wasn't ready for the answer that came. It hurt too much. Cut way too deep. I was confused. Scared. Sad. I denied it. But yet I kept on praying, asking for His will to be done. Praising Him for His goodness. Serving Him with gladness and hope. And He kept working on me.
Obedience is a funny thing. The thought of it seems so monumental. The enemy tells our brains that it's way too difficult. We are convinced that there will be days and nights of agony and despair and that we will never be the same again, that we stand to lose and lose too much, once we take that leap of faith. Well, sisters, I am here to tell you that the leap of faith is a step on the most sturdy and stable ground that you will ever take. God will never lead us to something that will not be for our good and for His glory! I am telling you that the enemy is filling you with doubt and fear that are lies and that are meant to make you weak and keep you from serving the only One who can provide freedom in the midst of obedience!
You don't have to leap- just take one step!
One step toward obedience. One step, trusting the One who is leading you. And then let Him do His mighty work in your heart and in your perspective. At once my heart was healed and my spirit was soaring with the notion that I wasn't walking away from anything but that I was running toward something new and beautiful and with a purpose! He had only my best interests at heart as He always has-- and He has plans for me, even still. Jeremiah 29:11 promises me that He wants the best for me and He has shown me that my entire life. I just needed to obey Him first to see it. I just needed to seek Him first, to be rewarded with it. (Matthew 6:33)
The blessed Scripture that He left with us teaches us that we are not to be afraid. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that we are not given a spirit of fear. Don't be fooled.
Don't be fooled into thinking that this has been easy, even after the Lord did His work on my heart. I still hurt. I still cried (and still am). But I have no resentment, doubt, or bitterness in my heart at all! I am free because of the power of Christ and I know that this is a journey that we will not regret taking. Because, no matter the terrain, we will stand on the Rock and proclaim His goodness.
Thank you, Jesus, for providing access to the God of all. And thank you for this new path, a hand to hold, and a heart trying to be as much like Yours as it possibly can.
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