I'm that little girl. The little girl who wore braids and bangs. The girl who loved to climb trees. Didn't have a treehouse, just a comfy branch and a rope. Tie the books to the rope, scramble up the tree, pull up the books, and read for hours. I was the girl who was fearless. I had a healthy respect for animals and strangers- but I never had fear. I loved my Spyder Bike like a good friend. Knew it like I knew the layout of my back yard. Best bike ever. I'm the girl who kept her favorite stuffed toys and treated them as humans but never really understood Barbies, although I gave it a good try. I'm the little girl who hated dresses but who loved antebellum ball gowns.
I am the girl who couldn't understand how everyone didn't like history and Jesus and chocolate and I am the girl who loved horses. Not the little pink plastic unicorn things with sparkly eyes, but the real deal. I knew every breed and what they were best suited for. I loved them from the moment I knew what they were. I loved the smell of them. The sound of them. I loved them in such a way that when I called, my pony would come to me when she would come to no one else. I trusted her, she trusted me. No fear.
I went to the Washington DC International Horse Show yesterday. I was there most of the day. I had a chance to catch up with that little girl. It had been a while since we talked.
I was glad she was the kind of little girl she was. I was glad that she was fearless. It served her well, although that fearlessness led her to an ability to build up walls that weren't always healthy. She was surprised to hear about my fears. I had chalked them up to becoming older and more sensitive to the bad things of this world; she thinks I've forgotten who I am.
She was happy to think about my having had two sons; she had always wanted a brother, so raising boys was a dream come true. We both decided that they are our biggest earthly blessing.
It was a surprise for her to learn that I don't have a horse. Too much travel, bad back, and extra expense. It's ok, though. We have our memories.
We both thought in silence about Mama. Glad she's at Peace with Jesus.
We thought about the Jesus picture that hung in the bedroom and how He seemed to move when falling asleep. I'm sure we saw one of the sheep move one night.
The little girl in me was so happy to know that I am married. Even though she dressed up as a bride a time or two, she never really dreamed of the man she would marry, instead leaving that dream totally up to God. He blessed.
She was surprised that I own anything pink. I am too.
We both agree that our sisters are still amazing. Never the little girl to complain about her sisters but who celebrated the fact that they were beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet. We are proud of them and love them with a deep love that will never end. And praise God, it doesn't have to!
I was glad that the little girl I was had been involved in school leadership. I learned a lot at an early age and had she been timid it would never have happened. Her becoming a leader was a direct result of her salvation. Thank God that Billy Graham was on our parents' portable black and white tv that night. Thank God she was watching. Thank God she prayed that prayer when the man with the booming voice, George Beverly Shea, was singing. And thank God He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for her sins and to forgive her and welcome her into a life filled with joy and purpose. Thank God He taught her how to forgive. Romans 10:9 Because we thought for a brief second yesterday about all the things in our life we had to forgive. We have peace. Praise be to God.
So it was a good day, yesterday. Horses, little girl dreams, and all. Glad I spent time with an old friend: the little girl I was, and the little girl I still am.